ranting and raving

Isnt it really sad when people move away? i'v been in this situation a number of times, some where i have left, others have left, i didnt want to leave, had to leave.. all sorts of combinations. its terrible, heartbreaking. i want to say i hate it, but i know i dont.. coz such amazing things tend to happen. you grow up, broaden your horizons, meet new people, see new places, new experience etc.. the list goes on. theres so much that we learn and grow and ... like i once said... change its constant, and i hate it!
seriously.. its pretty terrible when it happens too fast to handle. and its terrible when its too slow... so slow that you feel like nothings happening in your life- its a drag! ahhhghg! how do you strike a proper balance? actually... u cant. life just gives it to you the way it wants and theres nothing u can do but suck it all in! but what you can count on is - that if you really want it to slow down- it will go faster. and if you want it to go fast - it will slow to a crawl.
terrible isnt it. almost as bad as murphy's law.

anyway getting back to people leaving - o it sucks! i mean u are so used to them being a constant influence, and then they up and vanish. now while i'm complaining... i'm feeling really guilty coz there are so many people who are here, but i have lost touch with, simply coz i dont have the time, cant be bothered, etc. thats terrible isnt it? i mean these are still people that i feel are my friends, and i was really close to at one point of time. what prevents me from picking up the phone and calling them? well... to be really truthful... i just dont have much to say. i mean... nothings happening that much really. well on a macro scale there isnt. so not much to fill them in on. on a micro scale there is always lots - some of which tend to be the ramblings in my head. but yeah.. uno day to day problems and issues, scattered with a few good things that only i care about. so i mean, really, what do i talk about? uno substantial stuff.. not chit chat. i doubt anyone wants to come and take a sneak peak at the mess in my head and the moutains and creating with mole hills! sometimes i do, bore the hell out of my poor friends with all this detail... then they tend to avoid me i think. actually why have meaningful conversations with people... most of them dont really want to, they just want to have a good time. so maybe after this.. i should just keep inviting people out for coffee and catch up a bit while having a good time and thus distracting myself from the chit chat! actually tho i complain so much... doesnt necessarily mean i dont like chit chat.. i probably is that i'm just not good at it. ha haha!
its the heat i tell u, its the heat!